The treatment of cancer varies, as I have mentioned before, from patient to patient, cancer to cancer. The final treatment process - referred to most often as a 'protocol' is reached through a combination of physical analysis of the tumor, the age, disposition, health and even the genetic profile of the patient. If all goes well, the medical professionals and the patient (and the patients family) come to a mutual agreement of how to do battle with the disease.
A quick review of my situation - again, shared by many but not all - the battle plan consists of several parts; Diagnosis, Removal or reduction of the primary tumor, surgical recovery, treatment process (radiation/chemotherapy).
So, seven months after surgery I find myself just at the half-way point of my overall treatment plan. Treatment for me started with 3 weeks of twice-a-day radiation, then a 6 week 'recovery' break then into the chemotherapy process.
For me, that means two primary drugs, Xeloda (a pill form of the commonly used 5-Fluorouracil) and a relatively new drug, Oxaliplatin (oddly this is a drug that uses PLATINUM as it's primary component!).
As I sat there in the meeting with the chemotherapy nurse, absorbing as much as I could about each, drug, how it would be administered and what it's side affects could be for me. To be honest, since this is my second battle, I kind of let most of this discussion go in one ear and out the other, leaving the meeting with a pile of pamphlets, papers and prescriptions - out the door and onto prepare for the chemical battle against my cancer.
Remember, that 'I am the MAN!' -right? I have defeated cancer once, how much more difficult would THIS fight be... After all, I had 'been there and done that' - right? Cancer ain't nothin'.... 'Don't START nothin' won't BE nothin' ' - right? Uh...things are a bit different that the first fight.
Despite 20 years passing between my two experiences, you would think that the process would be simpler, just based on advances in medical science - that would INCLUDE the reduction of possible side effects... How hard can it be? The bigger question, is 'How STUPID can I be?
So, today, I sit here having completed all the steps along the way and have made it through 6 chemo cycles, and honestly feel both stupid for not realizing that I am not some kind of super-hero cancer fighter. I am just one fighter among many, trying to get by day to day, hour to hour. Today has been, to put it lightly - awful. The worst day so far, and now that things have settled down a bit, have felt the need to share my experiences, while I am in good enough shape to do so.
I will try to put the Reader's Digest spin on this round of side affects and how I have dealt with them and how they have changed the things around me, and how I am trying to keep perspective on how my experience is affecting those closest to me.
According to the pile of literature on Xeloda, it is a pill form of 5-Fluororacil (which, oddly enough was one of the drugs I was on (in liquid form) 20 years ago). The material lists the following as potential side-effects: peeling, cracking and chafing of skin from the hands and feet (check, check and check), increased sensitivity to hot and cold (check, check), nausea (check), diarrhea (check - into the bag)...
Now...add into this mix the new drug I am on Oxaliplatin, a liquid delivered by IV infusion, who's main ingredient is PLATINUM of all things, that somehow interrupts the cellular mitosis of cancer cells. Now is where it gets interesting. The side effects of this drug are as follows; neuropathy in the feet and hands (check - I have lost feeling in two toes of my left foot, check - when I woke up this morning (the day after treatment) my hands and feet felt like I was being stabbed by 1000s of needles. I could barely touch ANYTHING hot or cold it took me 20 minutes to get dressed. I was literally in tears. It was embarassing. I am glad everyone else was alseep. I stumbled down to the kitchen, tried - unsuccessfully to make a pot of coffee, found my meds and my gloves and slippers - took about 3 vicodins and a bunch of nausea meds (more on that later) and tried to stretch out in my living room and get rid of some pain.
So, these two drugs - while I am being TOLD are busy battling the un-seen 'micro' cancer that MAY be floating around my body, they are making things in my 'macro' life much more interesting to say the least.
Now on to some new effects just experienced this past week... Weird nausea pains. This is the first time that I have experienced any nausea... I don't know whether it is related to the chemo, or to the flu running through my house the past couple weeks, or to the ongoing adjustment my body is making to having a digestive track with out a colon. But this week, all of a sudden I have become 'Queazy-Man'. To describe the pain, it is a strange combination of 'Extreme Hunger Pangs, followed by I'm Going to Puke My Guts Out' very hard to tell the difference. If I am quick on the draw, I can pop some anti-nausea meds and Rice Krispie Treat (don't ask me why, but some how it calms my innards. If I DON'T do this, I had better find a bucket, or a ditch, or a something, because what ever might be in my stomach will be making a return trip... I had that happen at a client site on Wednesday..thankfully I could hide away for amoment and cover up the leavings with parking lot gravel.
I am glad that I get treatments on Fridays, I try to plan for light-duty Saturdays - just in case I get a morning like today. The remaining challenge is to reminding myself that while my suffering is personal, that there are STILL people around me who care (for reasons known only to the Gods) and I must try to remind myself that they do not deserve to be on the receiving end of my anger, or get yelled at because I am in pain. My family is very inconcerned, obviously, and in their own way and they don't like to see me in too much pain. I have gotten a BIT better at asking for help when I need it, and in expressing how I feel in a way that goes beyond just bitching about aches and pains. I have also learned how to 'move-around' my emotional needs to others outside my house - who I can tell are simply sick of hearing about it...
Well, that is about it for now, I do feel a bit better, might actually go out and attempt to do some studio work before going out tonight to enjoy a belated birthday dinner with family and friends...
A quick review of my situation - again, shared by many but not all - the battle plan consists of several parts; Diagnosis, Removal or reduction of the primary tumor, surgical recovery, treatment process (radiation/chemotherapy).
So, seven months after surgery I find myself just at the half-way point of my overall treatment plan. Treatment for me started with 3 weeks of twice-a-day radiation, then a 6 week 'recovery' break then into the chemotherapy process.
For me, that means two primary drugs, Xeloda (a pill form of the commonly used 5-Fluorouracil) and a relatively new drug, Oxaliplatin (oddly this is a drug that uses PLATINUM as it's primary component!).
As I sat there in the meeting with the chemotherapy nurse, absorbing as much as I could about each, drug, how it would be administered and what it's side affects could be for me. To be honest, since this is my second battle, I kind of let most of this discussion go in one ear and out the other, leaving the meeting with a pile of pamphlets, papers and prescriptions - out the door and onto prepare for the chemical battle against my cancer.
Remember, that 'I am the MAN!' -right? I have defeated cancer once, how much more difficult would THIS fight be... After all, I had 'been there and done that' - right? Cancer ain't nothin'.... 'Don't START nothin' won't BE nothin' ' - right? Uh...things are a bit different that the first fight.
Despite 20 years passing between my two experiences, you would think that the process would be simpler, just based on advances in medical science - that would INCLUDE the reduction of possible side effects... How hard can it be? The bigger question, is 'How STUPID can I be?
So, today, I sit here having completed all the steps along the way and have made it through 6 chemo cycles, and honestly feel both stupid for not realizing that I am not some kind of super-hero cancer fighter. I am just one fighter among many, trying to get by day to day, hour to hour. Today has been, to put it lightly - awful. The worst day so far, and now that things have settled down a bit, have felt the need to share my experiences, while I am in good enough shape to do so.
I will try to put the Reader's Digest spin on this round of side affects and how I have dealt with them and how they have changed the things around me, and how I am trying to keep perspective on how my experience is affecting those closest to me.
According to the pile of literature on Xeloda, it is a pill form of 5-Fluororacil (which, oddly enough was one of the drugs I was on (in liquid form) 20 years ago). The material lists the following as potential side-effects: peeling, cracking and chafing of skin from the hands and feet (check, check and check), increased sensitivity to hot and cold (check, check), nausea (check), diarrhea (check - into the bag)...
Now...add into this mix the new drug I am on Oxaliplatin, a liquid delivered by IV infusion, who's main ingredient is PLATINUM of all things, that somehow interrupts the cellular mitosis of cancer cells. Now is where it gets interesting. The side effects of this drug are as follows; neuropathy in the feet and hands (check - I have lost feeling in two toes of my left foot, check - when I woke up this morning (the day after treatment) my hands and feet felt like I was being stabbed by 1000s of needles. I could barely touch ANYTHING hot or cold it took me 20 minutes to get dressed. I was literally in tears. It was embarassing. I am glad everyone else was alseep. I stumbled down to the kitchen, tried - unsuccessfully to make a pot of coffee, found my meds and my gloves and slippers - took about 3 vicodins and a bunch of nausea meds (more on that later) and tried to stretch out in my living room and get rid of some pain.
So, these two drugs - while I am being TOLD are busy battling the un-seen 'micro' cancer that MAY be floating around my body, they are making things in my 'macro' life much more interesting to say the least.
Now on to some new effects just experienced this past week... Weird nausea pains. This is the first time that I have experienced any nausea... I don't know whether it is related to the chemo, or to the flu running through my house the past couple weeks, or to the ongoing adjustment my body is making to having a digestive track with out a colon. But this week, all of a sudden I have become 'Queazy-Man'. To describe the pain, it is a strange combination of 'Extreme Hunger Pangs, followed by I'm Going to Puke My Guts Out' very hard to tell the difference. If I am quick on the draw, I can pop some anti-nausea meds and Rice Krispie Treat (don't ask me why, but some how it calms my innards. If I DON'T do this, I had better find a bucket, or a ditch, or a something, because what ever might be in my stomach will be making a return trip... I had that happen at a client site on Wednesday..thankfully I could hide away for amoment and cover up the leavings with parking lot gravel.
I am glad that I get treatments on Fridays, I try to plan for light-duty Saturdays - just in case I get a morning like today. The remaining challenge is to reminding myself that while my suffering is personal, that there are STILL people around me who care (for reasons known only to the Gods) and I must try to remind myself that they do not deserve to be on the receiving end of my anger, or get yelled at because I am in pain. My family is very inconcerned, obviously, and in their own way and they don't like to see me in too much pain. I have gotten a BIT better at asking for help when I need it, and in expressing how I feel in a way that goes beyond just bitching about aches and pains. I have also learned how to 'move-around' my emotional needs to others outside my house - who I can tell are simply sick of hearing about it...
Well, that is about it for now, I do feel a bit better, might actually go out and attempt to do some studio work before going out tonight to enjoy a belated birthday dinner with family and friends...
