One of my friends asked me today, what they could do to help me. What they could do to make the process of my upcoming procedures and treatment easier. I have spent the evening thinking about it and come to the conclusion, that at this point I really don't know.
This friend also mentioned that my blog may help THEM figure out how to approach others who are dealing with cancer (no matter what the type). I hope so. It is one of my goals.
During my past cancer experience, I did some research into how people deal with their cancer experience. Actually, I wrote an academic paper, complete with video interviews of two women dealing with cancer (one breast, one liver). The outcome of the research led me to this conclusion.
There are two types of cancer patients; those that want to share their experience with others around them and those that don't. The range between the two varies based on the individual.
Looking back over the paper (I had to dig it out - found and reviewed the video) and discovered this. Despite what the patient THINKS or wants to ADMIT, the experience of battling cancer is NOT a singular experience. By necessity it involves many people outside of the patient - whether we LIKE it or WANT it, these people are THERE. What makes a difference is the degree to which we LET them SHARE the experience. Some, as is human nature, will want to be involved more than others. At this point I don't really know what my needs will be this time around, but rather than try to live the experience in an isolated state I have decided to open my arms/heart/spirit to those who want to help in what ever way they want to.
In order to get perspective on just how MUCH support is out there for me (and by extension) other cancer patients I will create a list that should illustrate these connections... (I will add and update the list as time passes!)
1) IMMEDIATE FAMILY - Cheryl, Cameron, Malcolm and our pets (yes they TOO can help!) Ginger, Hershey, Gypsy and even Gipper.
2) EXTENDED FAMILY - Mom, Sarah, Randy, Sydney, Logan, Ryan, Paul, Karmen, Addison, Morgan, Jim, Carol, John, Kristen, Tina Brian, Jeff, Trevor, Mason, Amy, Dan, Kennedy
3) LIFE LONG FRIENDS - Dave, Krista, Tim, Cyndi, Shawn
4) MY NEIGHBORHOOD 'FAMILY' - Craig, Lisa, Addsion, Emerson, Liz, Tom K., Katy, Steve, Tommy & Luke
5) MY ARTISTIC FAMILY - Ken, Randy, Casey, Josh, Ev, Kristen, K.C., Danni, Madhi, Ashley, Krista, Savy, Vicki, Cathy, Tom, Tami, Zach, Lauri V.
6) MY WORK FAMILY - Kevin, Kim K., Bill, Mitch, Jeff, Garrick, Roy, Matt, Suzanne, Brad
7) MY MEDICAL TEAM - Dr. Gallagher, Dr. Skeel, Dr. Deitz, Dr. Remzi, Marilynn, (the following I don't have names for now, but will try to add) Testing Technicians, Lab Techs, Diagnosticians, Surgical Nurses, Anesthesiologists, Recovery Nurses, Ostomy Nurses, Home Visit Nurses.
Without specific names of medical personnel, my growing Support Web is pushing 80 people! I had never looked at it this way before. Now, by extension, these people will all talk, in one way or another to OTHER people, and much like a 'social-network' it comes to me that it is nearly IMPOSSIBLE to get through this alone, almost silly even to try.
Given this new revelation I get an even better perspective on the results of my research, in which I looked at the cancer patient as a 'student' (I have to RELEARN everything about procedures - new and familiar) and as a 'teacher' I am tasked with the 'responsibility' - at least to me - to be an 'educator'. I need to be able to answer questions about MY experience for the people mentioned above, and others I will meet along the way - that is part of the goal of this blog, to EDUCATE about the EXPERIENCE.
No matter what the outcome of my experience (obviously I plan on a curative experience and long life to be lived) what I go through will HOPEFULLY bring some personal awareness of the importance of health, screening, and all that goes along with staying healthy as long as possible - at least to the people of my growing Support Web.
So, with surgery approaching, I have been trying to focus on the things I CAN control at this point. Once I get through the surgery I will better be able to assess what I will need... It will not be easy for me, as I have mentioned before, to ask. So some people may have to take the lead
For now what I am really trying to do is NOT worry about the things that are not in my control. Once I get to Cleveland and roll into the O.R. I simply trust that the Doctors all know what they are doing and I will wake up without a colon, with a stupid ileostomy bag, and be on the road to recovery.
Once I get home, I will do my best to let people know how they can help! I also want to say that I fully recognize just how important you all are to my ability to survive and win this battle once again....
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