Life has had me busy adapting and slowly adjusting to life as an 'ostomate' - the technical term for a 'Bag-Man'.
Unfortunately, in my case the stuff in the bag is not money, as is the case of the Bag Men in the old Gangster Movies.
"Bagman is not a legitimate career choice." - Nancy Cartright
Becoming an Ostomate was definitely NOT a choice I have made for myself... And as for 'carrer choice' I hardly see how I can make a LIVING from this new lifestyle!
Bet that as it may, I am stuck with it. There will be no 'reversal' procedure for me to look forward to. No chance to return to 'normal'. I am stuck, forever, with a bag attached to my stomach that catches my poop. I can't say it any more simply than that.
Since my original diagnosis of colon cancer, I have had major surgery, spent days and days in the hospital recovering. I have spent many more days at home healing. Once the healing began, and I was starting to get used to all the new procedures that will shape my 'bathroom-life', I was thrust into treatment for the cancer that might have been 'left-behind' from the surgery.
So, now my daily routine is complicated with twice-daily drives back and forth across town for radiation treatment, chemotherapy has added 8 more pills to the 6 I already take to keep me 'healthy'.... AND several times a day I must stoop over at toilet and squeeze my poop from a bag into the toidy! Lovely.
Oh, let's not forget the VAC... the wonderful unit I have been carrying around these two months - and probably a month or two more - as the surgical incision where my poop-chute used to be works it's way to, uh... permanent 'closure'.... Try dealing with that one! Until the internal and external 'healing' takes place I also have to carry around a unit that sounds like a percolating coffee pot, or an annoying 5 year old, sucking the last drops of a milkshake through a straw.
Oh, and twice a week I get to go to a wound clinic where a host of nurses, unpack, and repack the 'wound'... again, a great way to meet people... "Hi, I'm [insert name here] and I will be packing foam in what used to be your ass, and taping it down along your butt crack to a spot on your hip where the VAC will suck various juices involved in healing into a tank you will wear 24/7..." - well, in their defense, while not using THOSE words EXACTLY, the care I have received - while embarrassing, has been excellent and professional.
As you can tell, this adjustment process has not been uncomplicated, easy, nor enjoyable. Necessary, vital to keep me alive, blah, blah, blah... I get it.
Over the past few months I have talked to many other 'ostomates' in various chatrooms, read and participated in blogs about 'our' shared experience, and tried to digest the advice of the others who have been where I am now... In addition to these people, I have also watched my Mom deal with this. She has had several more surgeries and 'baggings' than I have - and her experience has not been one I want to share. For her, the past 11 years have been filled with leaky bags, bags that 'blow-out' in the middle of the night, appliances that never 'stick-right' to her stoma region... all these things make me want to run screaming, covering my ears... saying, NO MORE!!! I DON'T WANT THIS!!!! WHY ME!!!
So, how have I been dealing with this? For me, I focus on a couple things that seem to distract me from the permanence of the situation. I have been experimenting with the variety of appliances, pastes, bags, bag positions, etc. to find a combination that will allow me to resume some sort of 'normal' existence. I have discovered the following about being a bagman:
1) It sucks.
2) BATHROOM TIME IS COMPLICATED - for you 'regular' people, you don't have to think too much about doing, umm. #2. You get to the bathroom, drop the drawers, and glance to be sure there is toilet paper on the roll. That's pretty much it. As and 'ostomate' I now must worry about several things. If I am using 'drainable-pouches' will the closure hold or will the velcro get caught on my clothing and sneakily leak the contents of the bag down my leg. If I am using disposable ones, did I REMEMBER to bring enough along with me to the restroom? Did I pack the right ones in my kit-bag? What happens if I don't?
3) It sucks.
4) BI-WEEKLY MAINTENENCE - for you 'regular' people, your poopy region doesn't really need much more care than a good washing, a good diet to keep things regular and avoidance of bad water while you travel or really bad Mexican food... I would WELCOME any variety of previous 'ailments' to this new life style. Twice a week (so far it's only been that often - I hear of worse experiences) I have to prepare a near surgical procedure just to keep things functioning.
After a good shower I now lay out the following: razor, shave/soap, baby wipes, paper towels, adhesive remover, adhesive paste, mounting wafer with bag, bag closing clip, stoma powder. I will save you the details, but suffice to say that if I am LUCKY my little friend, 'Pedro' (see previous post), will not be working during the 5 to 10 minutes it takes me to remove the old bag, shave and clean the surrounding area and remount a new one. All and all, if I take my time and follow the procedure, it hasn't been that bad.
5) It sucks.
6) TRAVELING IS A PAIN IN THE ASS...er STOMACH...er BOTH - while I know that EVENTUALLY I will be rid of the wound vac which makes SITTING in a car (or anywhere else) still a fairly uncomfortable experience, my rides in the car are further complicated by the location of my stoma and associated bag position. Buckling up has become a difficulty. The lap portion of the seat belt lines up neatly with the EXACT location of my stoma! So my choices are, let it ride there, abrading the bag, the appliance holding it in place and the stoma itself, or don't wear the safety belt. Sadly the second option has been my choice so far. Maybe I will figure out another option as I move forward.
7) It sucks.
8) NO MORE BELLY-DANCING - NO MORE SIT-UPS - some concerns I have are more concerned with moving forward in the future than day to day living. Despite what I have seen on the internet, there is really no way to hide the FACT that I have a -something- attached to my stomach. If I am careful, order the right stuff, I can at least hide it's appearance - unless I want to take up hula, or belly dancing. I hear that working out is possible... with a special belt to hold my insides in - always preferable! I can only imagine how my return to work will go. I have many questions.
9) It sucks.
10) LONG TERM LIVING - well, if I make it through therapy and healing. If my stoma stays stable and working properly, maybe I will be one of the people I have run across on the forums or chats...one able to dish out advice that will help make living as a Bag-Man a bit easier, if not enjoyable, at least manageable. I hope that I am blessed with good fortune and that what remains of my (hopefully) long life will become more about enjoyment than about management. We will see...
Unfortunately, in my case the stuff in the bag is not money, as is the case of the Bag Men in the old Gangster Movies.
"Bagman is not a legitimate career choice." - Nancy Cartright
Becoming an Ostomate was definitely NOT a choice I have made for myself... And as for 'carrer choice' I hardly see how I can make a LIVING from this new lifestyle!
Bet that as it may, I am stuck with it. There will be no 'reversal' procedure for me to look forward to. No chance to return to 'normal'. I am stuck, forever, with a bag attached to my stomach that catches my poop. I can't say it any more simply than that.
Since my original diagnosis of colon cancer, I have had major surgery, spent days and days in the hospital recovering. I have spent many more days at home healing. Once the healing began, and I was starting to get used to all the new procedures that will shape my 'bathroom-life', I was thrust into treatment for the cancer that might have been 'left-behind' from the surgery.
So, now my daily routine is complicated with twice-daily drives back and forth across town for radiation treatment, chemotherapy has added 8 more pills to the 6 I already take to keep me 'healthy'.... AND several times a day I must stoop over at toilet and squeeze my poop from a bag into the toidy! Lovely.
Oh, let's not forget the VAC... the wonderful unit I have been carrying around these two months - and probably a month or two more - as the surgical incision where my poop-chute used to be works it's way to, uh... permanent 'closure'.... Try dealing with that one! Until the internal and external 'healing' takes place I also have to carry around a unit that sounds like a percolating coffee pot, or an annoying 5 year old, sucking the last drops of a milkshake through a straw.
Oh, and twice a week I get to go to a wound clinic where a host of nurses, unpack, and repack the 'wound'... again, a great way to meet people... "Hi, I'm [insert name here] and I will be packing foam in what used to be your ass, and taping it down along your butt crack to a spot on your hip where the VAC will suck various juices involved in healing into a tank you will wear 24/7..." - well, in their defense, while not using THOSE words EXACTLY, the care I have received - while embarrassing, has been excellent and professional.
As you can tell, this adjustment process has not been uncomplicated, easy, nor enjoyable. Necessary, vital to keep me alive, blah, blah, blah... I get it.
Over the past few months I have talked to many other 'ostomates' in various chatrooms, read and participated in blogs about 'our' shared experience, and tried to digest the advice of the others who have been where I am now... In addition to these people, I have also watched my Mom deal with this. She has had several more surgeries and 'baggings' than I have - and her experience has not been one I want to share. For her, the past 11 years have been filled with leaky bags, bags that 'blow-out' in the middle of the night, appliances that never 'stick-right' to her stoma region... all these things make me want to run screaming, covering my ears... saying, NO MORE!!! I DON'T WANT THIS!!!! WHY ME!!!
So, how have I been dealing with this? For me, I focus on a couple things that seem to distract me from the permanence of the situation. I have been experimenting with the variety of appliances, pastes, bags, bag positions, etc. to find a combination that will allow me to resume some sort of 'normal' existence. I have discovered the following about being a bagman:
1) It sucks.
2) BATHROOM TIME IS COMPLICATED - for you 'regular' people, you don't have to think too much about doing, umm. #2. You get to the bathroom, drop the drawers, and glance to be sure there is toilet paper on the roll. That's pretty much it. As and 'ostomate' I now must worry about several things. If I am using 'drainable-pouches' will the closure hold or will the velcro get caught on my clothing and sneakily leak the contents of the bag down my leg. If I am using disposable ones, did I REMEMBER to bring enough along with me to the restroom? Did I pack the right ones in my kit-bag? What happens if I don't?
3) It sucks.
4) BI-WEEKLY MAINTENENCE - for you 'regular' people, your poopy region doesn't really need much more care than a good washing, a good diet to keep things regular and avoidance of bad water while you travel or really bad Mexican food... I would WELCOME any variety of previous 'ailments' to this new life style. Twice a week (so far it's only been that often - I hear of worse experiences) I have to prepare a near surgical procedure just to keep things functioning.
After a good shower I now lay out the following: razor, shave/soap, baby wipes, paper towels, adhesive remover, adhesive paste, mounting wafer with bag, bag closing clip, stoma powder. I will save you the details, but suffice to say that if I am LUCKY my little friend, 'Pedro' (see previous post), will not be working during the 5 to 10 minutes it takes me to remove the old bag, shave and clean the surrounding area and remount a new one. All and all, if I take my time and follow the procedure, it hasn't been that bad.
5) It sucks.
6) TRAVELING IS A PAIN IN THE ASS...er STOMACH...er BOTH - while I know that EVENTUALLY I will be rid of the wound vac which makes SITTING in a car (or anywhere else) still a fairly uncomfortable experience, my rides in the car are further complicated by the location of my stoma and associated bag position. Buckling up has become a difficulty. The lap portion of the seat belt lines up neatly with the EXACT location of my stoma! So my choices are, let it ride there, abrading the bag, the appliance holding it in place and the stoma itself, or don't wear the safety belt. Sadly the second option has been my choice so far. Maybe I will figure out another option as I move forward.
7) It sucks.
8) NO MORE BELLY-DANCING - NO MORE SIT-UPS - some concerns I have are more concerned with moving forward in the future than day to day living. Despite what I have seen on the internet, there is really no way to hide the FACT that I have a -something- attached to my stomach. If I am careful, order the right stuff, I can at least hide it's appearance - unless I want to take up hula, or belly dancing. I hear that working out is possible... with a special belt to hold my insides in - always preferable! I can only imagine how my return to work will go. I have many questions.
9) It sucks.
10) LONG TERM LIVING - well, if I make it through therapy and healing. If my stoma stays stable and working properly, maybe I will be one of the people I have run across on the forums or chats...one able to dish out advice that will help make living as a Bag-Man a bit easier, if not enjoyable, at least manageable. I hope that I am blessed with good fortune and that what remains of my (hopefully) long life will become more about enjoyment than about management. We will see...
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